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And this is the foundation of narcissistic invalidation.
In their minds, by denying you, in relation to whatever, means you cannot catch them out on their own denial about who they really are.
The programming is undertaken for the very purpose of derailing you, of diverting you when required (read Reacting vs.
responding: Overcoming legacy of abuse and narcissism for more on this and how to stop being their puppet).
Disproving the reality of who they are without the mask, drives their existence.
This results in the fixation to constantly source supply. Unlike emotionally healthy people however, the pathological narcissist’s version of validation is not contingent on acceptance and understanding.
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It goes like this: to retain beliefs in always being right and superior means that anyone who knowingly or unknowingly challenges these points, must be wrong and inferior. The ONLY thing that matters is that your thoughts, feelings, and experiences are negated (read The narcissist’s word salad: Stop biting now for an example of this in action).
It works every time until you wise up to their game.
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Instead, go back to my country, to the land of my relatives, and get a wife for my son Isaac.” Ezra – “Therefore do not give your daughters to their sons, neither take their daughters for your sons, and never seek their peace or prosperity, that you may be strong and eat the good of the land and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever.” 1 Kings 11:1-5 – “King Solomon loved many women who were not from Israel. And even though Jesus was Jewish, he showed love and compassion to the Romans [Gentiles] and to the Samaritans, who by the way were the most hated people group in that region at the time.… continue reading »
Did you want two bagels stacked with spreads on spreads on spreads," my mom will ask you when you visit. … continue reading »
I went into it with faith that it'd be a good thing and my spouse started scrolling on one question while I was talking (to see the next question).… continue reading »