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C: Referring to rapper Fiddy Cent as "Fifty Cents"? B: Asking my oldest daughter if that guy I saw her talking to yesterday at school was her boyfriend? Cate Hennessy: So, where's your family tonight, Carter? [Pats Rory on the shoulder] How're you doin' there, son? that I, I want you to know that I wasn't playing with your stuff. He goes back to looking at Carter] My son took something. You know, when you grow up the eighth of nine kids, sometimes you can get lost in the shuffle. I can't trust a man who sneaks in my bedroom while I'm showering and plays with my stuff. Just like a certain ex-wife whose number I will not mention. No, no, that's neither here nor there, it's just...
Your face looks like Lacey's." Bridget: [in shower] Who's the girl with the great hair? A: Coming to the breakfast table wearing pajamas and black socks? And it's the knowledge that my wife and kids love me that makes it safe for me to wear pajamas and black socks to the breakfast table. Cate: Well of course honey, whatever you want Bridget: Okay well I need 25 from various stages of his life... Cate: [reading Paul's last article] Okay readers, today we're having a little pop quiz, it's multiple choice, so sharpen your number 2 pencils and put your thinking caps on. Here's a quote: "Dad, you're an idiot." Now, contestants, this was said to me because of which of the following transgressions? Now do you know how many times I called my father an idiot? Because I know that whenever they insult me whether it's a "You're an idiot," "You're a geek," or an "I hate you," an "I love you" isn't far behind. This is about me winning Jeremy and humiliating Lacey so bad that she has to hide her face and move to the Northern territory and live with the bears, until one day she starts riding the bear like a pony and it gets so mad that it turns around and eats her and it eats so much of her face that it starts to look like Lacey and all the other bears point and laugh and say, "Ha!
Bridget: Define "sexually active."Kerry: Do you want to be home schooled?
Carter Tibbits: Paul, I thought my crew chief made everything clear.