Dating how often to call
Women get so tripped up in relationships by honing in on the words while it’s really the actions that say it all. Our differences aren’t merely physical, they’re emotional and intellectual. Most men aren’t able to intuit the nuances and decipher the clues.If he is there for you, if he is considerate of you, if he goes out of his way for you, if he opens up to you, he loves you. Look, I don’t think I’m making any radical claims by saying men are the less communicative of the two genders. I know it can sometimes feel like he’s intentionally trying to make your life more difficult, and while he may be driving you nuts, deep down all he really wants is to provide for you and give you what you need. If you want him to give you what you want, tell him what it is that you want!This is hard for most women to understand because women can switch from one task to the next and back again with much more ease.We get a lot of questions that go something like: “I’m really confused, my boyfriend says he’s crazy about me and I’m the most amazing/wonderful/smart/funny/etc girl he’s ever dated but he always blows me off and he can’t hang out and doesn’t have time to talk on the phone or text back or take me out on dates and I really only see him late at night when he feels like it.” OK, maybe not exactly like that, but close enough.
Countless studies have shown that women primarily gain their sense of worth and self-esteem through their interpersonal relationships while men measure their worth based on their ability to have an impact in the world and contribute in a meaningful way.
The really sad/funny thing is that men have NO idea how intensely their texting habits are being scrutinized. There are all kinds of reasons why this is such an issue for women and why men are so oblivious to it – reasons we’ve discussed at length in previous articles– but the takeaway is that this whole thing is a non-issue for men. Yeah, they’ll text a lot in the beginning when they’re trying to win you over, but it’s not sustainable or realistic to continue at that level indefinitely.
In the beginning, it’s all new and fresh and if he’s really into you he will be thinking about you a lot and will feel the urge to text you frequently.
If a guy says he’ll do anything for you and then calls late at night and begs you to come over, claiming to be too tired to make the drive over to your place, then he has a very loose definition of !
If he says he really cares about you and misses you but then goes days or weeks without calling or making time to see you because he’s swamped at work, or some excuse along those lines, what he’s really saying is you’re not important enough to make time for.
If you want to know where he really stands, pay closer attention to what he’s doing and put less emphasis on what he is and isn’t saying. The trick is to do it in a way that’s encouraging, not one that’s threatening, demanding, or nagging.