Dating outside relationship
the idea being, if you were that explicit and clear about your desires once, you can continue to do so on an ongoing basis.
By mutually deciding to take your unspoken social contracts and bring them into the light of day, you’ll both be feel that much safer to continue to be intentional communicators in how you engage with each other in the long term.
By getting it all out on the table early on in your relationship, you’ll be able to avoid fights, frustrations, and unnecessary internalized resentments because of the honesty that you brought to the process of creating your relationship contract.
I really can’t imagine anything more romantic than intentionally sitting down with the person you love and having an extended conversation about what it means to them to be loved.
Whether you’re discussing topics that are usually relationship land mines (like your ideas around sex, money, children, religion, etc.), or talking about how often you want to have a date night, writing up your relationship contract will be an essential step towards finding clarity and alignment in your mutual desires.
So many of the arguments and resentments that spring forth from relationships are purely a result of one or both people in the relationship feeling like they aren’t getting their needs met. Simply put, there’s a big psychological difference (that positively or negatively impacts your relationship long-term) if you slide into your big relationship milestones (moving in together, getting engaged, etc.) versus if you arrive to those same milestones by actually making a choice.
Have you ever heard of a relationship contract (also sometimes referred to as a relationship agreement)?
When you sit down to write your contract, it’s good to pause for a moment and ask yourself why you feel compelled to write it up at all.” You write down/type up all of the things that each of you wants to include, print it off, and sign it. you’ve just created your very own custom-made relationship contract! if you’re not sure where to start with your contract, much more detail is on its way.) I have had dozens of my partnered/married clients write up relationship contracts with each other and the benefits in their relationship (and my own, personally) have been far-reaching.