Dating special needs kids
If you think it’s draining to meet the needs of a child who has such a vast arsenal of needs, imagine how you’d feel if at least half of your attempts to make that child happy were to end in tears—the child’s visible, yours hidden.
When people talk about how some children are draining, I always cringe because it feels critical and selfish.
I have learned so much more because of my personal—not professional—experience.
As a psychologist, I have to watch my tendency to practice psychology at home.
But when you come home to SN kids, there’s rarely a moment of peace until it’s time for bed—if you're lucky.
Children with special emotional needs often don’t learn self-sufficiency skills the way other children do.
Previous research has not done enough to educate us about the effects on parents of having a child with SN.), disrupted parent-child relationships, reduced parenting efficacy, and increased levels of parent stress. According to the National Mental Health Association and the Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health (1993), parents who are caring for children with mental illness find it extremely difficult to get their own mental health needs met while trying to meet the mental health needs of their child.My knowledge and understanding of what it's like to parent a SN was previously restricted to textbooks, journal articles, and ultimately working with these parents as their therapist.Quickly we began to see that my son had almost no ability to self-regulate; he experienced major mood shifts with extreme anger outbursts; and he got in trouble frequently at school due to his provoking other students and his inability to focus. Part one of this article will break down the negative effects, and part two will highlight the positives. Parents of SN kids will inevitably resent their child at some point.
(Of course, if any of us went through the same things he did, we’d probably have those problems, too.) Nothing could have prepared me for the anger my son carried. All parents will have an occasional bad day and question why they had kids in the first place.In other words, I try not to treat my kids like my clients!