Dating teenage guys
The target group was, in most cases, longtime pairs who’d been struggling with the same issues over and over for years.
The reality is that most couples don’t find each other understanding everything about their partners, it’s more that misunderstandings that seem cute or forgivable early on tend to fester as time passes.
Just wondered if you had any nuggets of wisdom to offer.
A lot of this sounds like every teenage relationship ever. Remember back when Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and all the hubbub about couples learning each others’ love languages came out?
Based on what you’ve shared here, I imagine you’d be appalled if the roles were reversed and your son slapped his girlfriend.
Why, then, is your reaction to him being slapped a sort of “Well, that’s going to happen a lot more often if he doesn’t get it together, haha! I don’t care if he’s a linebacker and she’s barely five feet tall. It’s not about the potential damage caused or some gendered notion of girls hitting boys is no big deal, it’s about everyone understanding that you do not lash out that way against another human being.
If he was 13 instead of 17, I’d say you offer counsel, regardless, but at this age, you’re better off waiting for him to come to you.
If he doesn’t want your opinion, offering it may cause more problems.
When she told him about it, he responded with something like “Oops, I’m sorry I forgot.
Real apologies take responsibility for the damage inflicted, express true regret, and propose a way forward. Much more often, we get what my family refers to as the “non-apology apology,” and it’s easy to spot, because it contains the word “but” and/or a condescending “you.” Real apology: I am so sorry that I misunderstood how important this was to you. If you’re willing to give me another chance, I’d like to make it up to you.
Non-apology apology: I’m sorry you felt hurt but it’s not a big deal and I don’t know what you want from me.
Also talk to your son about how even the most sincere, beautiful apology may not be accepted, and that’s just how it goes, sometimes. It’s still worth doing, even if it doesn’t go your way.
I’m not clear from your note whether your son is asking for your input or not.Teenagers are both new to romantic relationships and not exactly known for their selfless and compassionate natures, if you get my drift.