Deeper than dating podcast
As Simone Weil writes, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” By listening, of course, we’re not talking about “hearing” people or even tracking what they mean. To listen is to be fully present to what someone else is saying, to process their words without distraction, and to seek to understand them before trying to be understood ourselves. People can tell whether you’re listening by your verbal responses and your body language.
Listening is the currency of rapport, and the window into trust, connection, and mutual engagement. When you make eye contact and nod as they’re speaking, you send a different message than if you were staring into space. For example, if you’re talking about travel and there’s a lull in the conversation, you might just ask a random question. ) A lot of people listen on a logical level (men, especially).
The worst part: both these things happened within eight months of each other.
After that, I ask the guys I am coaching to pick one emotion from this story that resonated with them and share a story of their own based on that emotion. It’s important to tap into the emotions coming through.
Learn about people’s personal narratives: their past (e.g., embarrassing moments or lessons learned), present (e.g., beliefs), and future (e.g., hopes, dreams, or fears). If you don’t talk about your past, present, or future much, you probably realize that the people in your life aren’t willing to share this stuff either.
Because personal narratives are so meaningful, most people don’t willingly open up about them to everyone. It’s challenging to build relationships and emotional connections without first being a bit vulnerable and sharing your personal narrative first.
For example, you already know you have to acknowledge someone’s thoughts to indicate you’ve been listening. Think back to your last conversation like this, and you know the effect these perfunctory words have on a relationship. When you listen to someone emotionally, you show empathy.
But one word responses, like “yeah,” “cool,” “interesting,” or “totally,” only telegraph that you’re probably not listening. The formula for a great conversation driven by active listening is simple, and it revolves around listening: It’s totally fine if your questions sound random. When you empathize, you recognize that someone else is as real as you.
To date, Deeper Than Water has brought currently-incarcerated voices to protests, teach-ins, panel discussions and even a funeral where inside family were able to call in from the unit and participate in the memorial service. Disallowing prisoner voices from communicating with the outside world, as well as the immoral prohibition on communication between currently and formerly incarcerated people, remains one of the most actively harmful policies of the carceral state.Half of the guys start off with, “My relationship with my dad…” or something related to, “My dad…” See what happened there? Tapping into your feelings and relating emotionally with other people takes a bit of practice.The men went straight for the logical connection point about fathers. Don’t worry if you struggle at first, because it will come with time.Race soldiers kill more dark skinned black men with strong black features than lighter skinned or racially ambiguous black men.
We reference the study on Colorism and Police Killings. We are excited to announce the launching of a project that we’ve been working on for a while now, The Prisoner Podcast which will air live every Wednesday, hosted by brothers Adrian Coleman and Wayland “X” Coleman from both sides of the razor wire.