Married couples who broke up while dating
This last option—when individuals sever the relationship but then recommit to it—becomes particularly intriguing when couples break up and make up again and again.
Repeated ending and renewing of a relationship is often called Repeated Breaking Up and Getting Back Together Is a Problem Well After College Recent research out of Kansas State University (Vennum, Lindstrom, Monk, & Adams, 2014) offers insight into the effects of relationship cycling beyond the college years—a novel contribution since college students are the focus of most on-again/off-again relationship studies (e.g., Dailey et al., 2009).
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He was my first text in the morning, and my last before bed. I was already actively saving and very close to paying off my student loans while in my relationship, but let’s face it, being in a couple made me a bit lazy. In the first couple weeks after my breakup, I paid off the rest of my student loans and credit card debt, went to the bank and came up with an aggressive savings and investment plan that best suited me and my financial goals.
When we entered the working world, we got first dibs on each other’s vacation time. I’m not quite sure when the cracks started to appear. And then one day—after nine years of friendship, six years as a couple—we broke up. In those immediate hours, days, weeks and even months post-breakup, I couldn’t quiet my inner voice that kept asking, “What if this doesn’t happen for me again? When your life is mapped out and you think your future will look a certain way, there isn’t as much impetus to aggressively tackle things. Y’all, the relief, coupled with how proud I felt, was huge. If you’re in the midst of a breakup, you will have plenty of stressful, overwhelming days.
OK, maybe I still buy two, but now I don’t have to share (silver linings? The goal is to stop feeling like you’re at the mercy of the changing landscape of your life, and to take charge of it.
You’re afraid that you have too much free time now?
Knowing each other for almost 10 years, and being a couple for more than half that, we had acquired of people between us. I took comfort knowing that I did what I could to ease the situation for myself.
You will make it through to the other side, where more joy and love than you can imagine awaits. Then maybe we can figure out if we should download Tinder or not.